After first paycheck, liberal becomes Rand Paul supporter


Dear god, they’re taking $200 of my $900 paycheck?! Time to support Rand Paul for president,” you declared after seeing your SmartAsset tax estimator. “More than 39% of my entire income will eventually go to taxes. That seems too high!”

Sources confirm you thought about dumping your tea into the harbor and burning the HMS Gaspee, but decided against it.

“Who thought this was a good idea?” you muttered to yourself. “Look at all these taxes! Federal taxes, FICA, state taxes, local taxes, sales taxes, fuel taxes and property taxes. Rhode Island even has a freakin’ car tax! 

Turns out, Rand Paul’s tax platform is complicated and you’d need an economist to figure it out.

You decide it might be easier to just complain that the rich have everything.

“These taxes are YUGE! YUGE taxes for those at the bottom while the 1% are hedge fund millionaires,” you said as you started transforming into Bernie Sanders. “These regressive taxes are just helping the 1% of the 1% of the 1%.”

Man with empty pockets
“Where’d it go?” you ask about your money.


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