Trump assures Americans that “Syrian lives don’t matter”

"America first, baby. America is going to be number one again. Syria and those displaced kids are dead last."

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In a press conference last Thursday, Donald Trump quelled America’s fears that his foreign policy would make the world worse. “What do you think America’s supposed to be –  empathetic?” he asked sarcastically.

“SYRIAN LIVES DON’T MATTER,” SAID THE DONALD. “AT LEAST NOT TO YOU.”

“I’ve had many, many people come up and tell me: they say ‘Thank you, you Donald, you’ve kept my family safe.’ What I tell them is this: ‘America first, baby. America is going to be number one again. Syria and those displaced kids are dead last.’ That is what I tell them,” said Donald.

Trump made clear that even if one American died from terrorism, it was worth sacrificing the millions of people Syrians that had been displaced or died.

 

You tell ’em, Donald!

According to liberal scumbag Vox, the odds of being killed by a refugee terrorist are one in 3.6 billion. Last time we checked, there are over 300 million people in this country which means 0.083 people will die in the U.S.!!!

Trump scared as he talks about Syrian refugees.
“EVERYBODY PANIC!” howled Trump as his sweaty hands grasped the podium. (Photo: Gage Skidmore).

Conservatives around the country confirmed they would continue to employ scare tactics to distract Americans from rising income inequality.

 

This article is satire. (Cover photo by: Gage Skidmore).

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