Economists: Globalization is good because “what are you, an idiot?”


All around the world, economists are in agreement. Globalization is good because “what are you, an idiot?”

Unfortunately, some conspiracy theorists think that we should buy locally. What those dingbats don’t understand is the idea of comparative advantage – in other words, countries should produce what they specialize in, you nitwit. “China and the rest of East Asia have saw their income poverty cut in half during the 1990s,” explained one economist. “You’d have to be living under a rock to not know that.”

Economists were quick to note that trade produced both winners and losers. According to recent data, the top 10% in the U.S. were winners, and the entire middle class were losers.


“Let me put it this way,” explained another economist. “All countries gain from globalization. The only exception is the entirety of Latin America, Sub-Saharan Africa and a number of other countries that have been forced out of manufacturing. Now they just export raw materials that give them no upward mobility.”

Look at all this innovating.

To the simpletons who still don’t get it, economists are going to give you one more try:

  1. Globalization has winners and losers.
  2. Everyone agrees that the total gains exceed the losses.
  3. This means we can institute retraining programs and redistribute wealth to cover the losses.

“We’ve currently only accomplished these first two steps,” said a third economist. “Thankfully, Bernie Sanders ran on a campaign to make gains more equal. Unfortunately, Hillary Clinton beat him and a man who doesn’t want any of these steps beat her.”


This article is satire.


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