Grandma’s microwave is too small to fit her new plates

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PAWTUCKET, R.I. (Unhumor) — Geriatrics across the country are unsettled after hearing that your grandma’s old microwave is too small to fit her brand new plates. Although visibly disappointed, Grandma went against both her son’s and grandson’s advice to “just get a new microwave.” The argument became relatively contentious, but you thankfully decided to stay out of it.

Your grandma settled the dispute when she stubbornly declared that the old microwave still “worked just fine, so why would I get a new one?”

“This could have happened to anyone,” one 80-year-old explained. “At least anyone that has a 35-year-old microwave.”

 

Grandma's baked gingerbread cookies.
A few days later, your grandma stress-baked gingerbread cookies and put them on the goddamn plates in question.

“This Christmas I’m getting her a new microwave and ending this whole ordeal,” one of her sons said. “That old thing is probably unsafe and doesn’t heat up food evenly anymore.”

Your grandma contemplated returning the plates to the store, but said that she liked the design and it would be too much of a hassle. Sources confirmed your grandma acts this way because she suffered through the Great Depression, so just let it go.

Once the stress died down, your Grandma sat in front of her standard-definition television and watched a re-run of a show she recorded on VHS.

“I’m starting to get a little hungry,” your Grandma confirmed. “Maybe I’ll microwave leftover pasta on one of my old plates.”

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