My girlfriend is pretty good, but I can definitely imagine a better one


Confirming suspicions that you are a complete douchebag and don’t deserve her, you think your girlfriend is pretty good but you could definitely imagine a better one. “It’s as if my mind was comparing two cars,” you thought later. “For Christ’s sake, we just started saying ‘I love you’ recently.”

A few weeks pass. The fights get worse and the (relative) highs become lows. After planning a trip to Rome during spring break, you two broke up and now you still have to go even though you’re not dating.

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t know what ‘I love you’ meant,” you said later. “I’ll have to keep that in mind for next time.”


Sources confirm that now you’re with someone else and it’s a lot better.

Next articleTrump nominates wolf to “Department of Sheep”
Ian Patrick
Ian Patrick is an economics major who studied at Wheaton College and Oxford University. He runs "" and the "Ian Patrick Show."


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here